Brother, Can You Spare Some Legislation??

The final strains of "Auld Lang Syne" had barely even faded before the first head scratching, near supernatural piece of inspired lunacy had reached Granite State media outlets.

If you're a shut-in, agoraphobe or are simply sleeping off the libations imbibed to celebrate the birth of a new decade, you might have missed the news that the thriving metropolis of Plaistow is considering an ordinance to tackle the all consuming issue of panhandling. Plaistow???? Plaistow???

Lest you fall prey to the belief that the streets of Plaistow are being overrun by roving bands of vagrants with overflowing shopping carts and bearers of questionable hygiene, let me assure you that the problem is contained to one single, solitary soul who has been asking for money outside the Walmart on Route 125. Not 20 vagrants, not a baker's dozen....one. Yep....one. Seems like a great occasion for the town fathers and the local constabulary to pontificate about the dangers of out-of-work Americans asking for spare change and causing unease amongst the populace. After all, nothing instills community fear quite like the sight of a beggar.

It's a sad fact of life that those with the most disposable income and time to burn are the folks who make the rules. The poor, on the other hand, follow the rules that are set down before them and are very often victimized by not having a voice at the local, state or federal level. Let it be said that he who carries the coffee can and the homemade sign is an annoyance at best, a blight on the picture perfect postcard which must be eradicated at worst.

Bear in mind that no one from Walmart has complained about the beggar, just the busy bodies who didn't want their shopping experience disrupted or who wanted to delay a conversation with their children about the "haves" and "have nots." One selectman was even quoted as saying that she worried about the prospect of someone rolling down their car window and getting robbed.  So, evidently, the poor are not only an eyesore, they're also hostile and possibly armed. She worried aloud that the plea for money might even be (heaven forbid) a HOAX. Yes, there are thousands, perhaps millions of people who are lining up to stand in front of department stores and expose themselves to critical comments for the princely sum of spare change and a cup of coffee.

So, what to do? What to do.....well, if you're this particular selectman, you suggest that panhandlers be required to register or apply for a permit with the town. Now just think of the sheer idiocy of this rationale. You're going to ask someone begging for pennies to walk into Town Hall and apply for a permit. What is the litmus test for a local selectman? The ability to walk somewhat upright and draw breath?

Let's face it - times are tough and with just one small twist of fate, we might all be standing in line for benefits and depending on the generosity of others. In this world, it's hard enough just to get by, let alone to be subject to the scorn of those who think that they're above it all or that it can't happen to them. Rather than developing new, useless ordinances that provide a sense of momentary calm to those whose worst enemy is their own ignorace, why don't the town fathers explore the deeper social ills that would cause a person to choose to beg? Or is that too staggering a notion to consider when the local press is clamoring for just one more crazy story to cover?

Steve Boucher has given money to panhandlers and doesn't particularly care what they choose to do with the donation. If you think that every dollar you donate to charity is going straight into programming, you probably sat in the pumpkin patch with Linus on Halloween as well.