Stress and the "Mean Boss"

More and more, I continue to hear about people exasperated over the amount of stress their boss is putting on them, and comments to the effect of “I don’t know if I can take it anymore,” or “He’s really being a jerk.”

When I ask them if they’ve always experienced their boss like this, most say that their boss is usually super nice, or that their boss is not typically very verbal, but has become increasingly demanding and doesn’t want to hear excuses

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The faces of the people I’m talking with are strained and their affect is anxious and angry. I ask if they have thought about the larger economy, and that their bosses’ manager is probably placing a lot of pressure on them to produce. I ask them if they have stopped to consider the weight being placed on their bosses’ shoulders, and that they may be doing the best they can under the circumstances. Usually, the person appears shocked, they stop to reflect on what I’ve said, and their face softens. “No, I hadn’t really thought about it.”

We all have “stress” and “success” zones. An ailing economy and the stress it places on people can have us seeing people at their worst. In the “Stress Zone,” a boss can become hypercritical of others, start micro-managing and be quick to anger. Team players suddenly throw the desire for harmony out the window. Good listeners stop listening. The organized become overwhelmed and disorganized. Patient people start snapping at others.

But this too, shall pass. As the economy starts to recover and resources become more available, the pressure from the top will start to abate and so too, shall the managers return to their natural states.

In the meantime, rather than quitting a job due to a demanding boss, think about how your boss was prior to the downturn in the economy, and have some empathy for what he or she must be going through if they are not “themselves.” A good practice is to not take things personally. If appropriate, tell your manager that he or she is doing a good job given the present stress. Chances are many managers don’t like the “mean boss” they’ve become, so not adding their stress and acknowledging their humanness may allow them to soften, even for a moment.