Where have all the manners gone?
October 28, 2009
R.S.V.P., Register by ____ , Sign-up for this event by this date ______ . Any of this sound familiar? Any of these words have meaning anymore? There was a time when if you didn’t give advance notice about whether or not you could attend an event it meant that you wouldn’t be attending an event. If you were invited to something you sent a response. Little by little, both personally and professionally we started to slip. We are responding later and later, sometimes not responding at all or not showing up without giving notice. What happened?
A lot has happened. A good friend of mine used the term, “time poverty.” We have way too much to do and less time to do it in. We are frequently invited to 2-3 events a week when a few years ago it was 1 event per week. Knowing that, we wait until the last minute; look at all of our options and go to the one that makes the most sense to us. By doing this we are creating unbelievable stress for the organizer, potentially costing them money and additional work. It’s not all our fault though (the attendee) as the organizers who want to fill those seats have allowed us to sign up at the last minute or just walk in the door. If I knew I was going to be turned away or at the very least shamed for waltzing in the door to an event without bothering to R.S.V.P. I wouldn’t do it.
Quite frankly we have created our own hell. What is the result? Less time, less energy, less productivity and professional courtesies have gone by the wayside.
We need to bring back manners. The WBC, like many non-profits, puts on events regularly. We do this for our members and the business community. We find topics, seek out great speakers, affordable locations and advertise using every affordable means possible. As each year passes we find people signing up (committing) for an event later and later. It went from being the exception to the norm. It went from being something you apologized for doing to just doing.
I get it, I really do. I have two kids, no spouse and an organization to run with all of its expectations and needs. I screw up sometimes and forget to R.S.V.P. on time. It’s not okay. It doesn’t matter what I have on my plate, I need to be a professional and use the manners we were taught oh so many years ago.
Am I alone in these thoughts?
Christine J. Davis
R.S.V.P., Register by ____ , Sign-up for this event by this date ______ . Any of this sound familiar? Any of these words have meaning anymore? There was a time when if you didn’t give advance notice about whether or not you could attend an event it meant that you wouldn’t be attending an event. If you were invited to something you sent a response. Little by little, both personally and professionally we started to slip. We are responding later and later, sometimes not responding at all or not showing up without giving notice. What happened?
A lot has happened. A good friend of mine used the term, “time poverty.” We have way too much to do and less time to do it in. We are frequently invited to 2-3 events a week when a few years ago it was 1 event per week. Knowing that, we wait until the last minute; look at all of our options and go to the one that makes the most sense to us. By doing this we are creating unbelievable stress for the organizer, potentially costing them money and additional work. It’s not all our fault though (the attendee) as the organizers who want to fill those seats have allowed us to sign up at the last minute or just walk in the door. If I knew I was going to be turned away or at the very least shamed for waltzing in the door to an event without bothering to R.S.V.P. I wouldn’t do it.
Quite frankly we have created our own hell. What is the result? Less time, less energy, less productivity and professional courtesies have gone by the wayside.
We need to bring back manners. The WBC, like many non-profits, puts on events regularly. We do this for our members and the business community. We find topics, seek out great speakers, affordable locations and advertise using every affordable means possible. As each year passes we find people signing up (committing) for an event later and later. It went from being the exception to the norm. It went from being something you apologized for doing to just doing.
I get it, I really do. I have two kids, no spouse and an organization to run with all of its expectations and needs. I screw up sometimes and forget to R.S.V.P. on time. It’s not okay. It doesn’t matter what I have on my plate, I need to be a professional and use the manners we were taught oh so many years ago.
Am I alone in these thoughts?
Christine J. Davis
Views: 2
Comment
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Comment by Everett Pollard on November 12, 2009 at 7:19am -
My wife and I host a number of events for large groups at our home each year ranging from our annual company Christmas party to cocktails parties to benefit non-profits that we support. It always amazes us at the number of people that do not respond!! We have gradually changed our invitation from "RSVP" to "Please call or email to let us know. . . " and then I always end up calling a large percentage of non-responsive invitees a few days before to whether they are coming or not. In this time of instant communication, there is not excuse for not responding with an email or simply picking upt the phone. In our experience, there is little difference in the percentage of resposes between our subcontractors or the upper crust of the community.
Another "manners" issue for you: Whatever happened to expecting men to remove their hats indoors? I guess I am rather old-fashioned, but it is jarring to me to see men wearing their ballcaps with sunglasses perched on the brim in restaurants!
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Comment by Faith Filiault on November 3, 2009 at 10:33am -
Christine,
I have to completely agree with you! My days are spent organizing every type of event under the sun ~ and yet I DO find myself following up with those invited. The RSVP's come in later and later or don't come in at all; but people show up still. It makes it hard when you want to do something like, send people home with a gift; what if you end up not having enough gifts that night? I leave it at this, "take home treats", meals, etc go first to those who did indeed RSVP. Perhaps, we should consider scheduling a day in which we will call you for your RSVP? And, yes ~ I too am at fault for a mess up or two in the past. This inconvenience goes for every event from your kids birthday party, sleepover or even a wedding! When you look at the invite and say "oh, yes I can go; I will call later" - Don't! Pick up the phone, co to your computer do it right then - quick! If you're in a hurry, say so - I can't talk know, but I am coming or I am not.
http://www.mymonadnockevents.com
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